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Why Do You Want A Baby or Babies So Badly?

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Baby fever can strike at any time sometimes without any warning whatsoever – it can be a very stressful time.

You may be unable to conceive, it may not be the right time, and there are a  million other things to consider before embarking on starting a family.

For many women, baby fever is nothing more than a cute description used for those women who are trying to hold somebody’s baby all the time or for those that have just got married.

But for many other women, it can be a very painful and distressing time, that makes no logical sense whatsoever. We take a look at the many reasons that you may be experiencing baby fever and ways to cope.

Why Do I Want A Baby So Bad?

There are many reasons why you may suddenly have an intense and desperate need to start a family. They are not usually logical and often stir up deep emotions.

This desire can surface as a result of a life event such as the following:

  • You may recently have had a pregnancy scare that made you realize that you were far more ready for motherhood than you ever thought you were.
  • Your life has lost focus and you may find yourself using the idea of having a baby as a change of direction for your life.
  • All your friends are suddenly having babies.
  • You may have had a recent miscarriage or an unplanned pregnancy.

All of these events come with a great deal of emotion and a lot of raging hormone changes. But do our hormones really dictate our drive to have a baby?

Do My Hormones Want A Baby Or Do I?

Every woman who has ever gone through this burning desire to suddenly have a baby has at some point blamed it all on her hormones. But can we really let them shoulder the entire blame?

There are a wealth of hormones being released in our bodies all the time by glands and other organs- there’s the thyroid and adrenal glands, the ovaries, and the pancreas.

In Greek, the word hormones means ‘setting in motion’, so off these hormones travel through our bloodstream towards their final destination where they deliver their instructions.

Essentially they are tiny messengers carrying instructions for organs throughout our body. 

Hormones are critical to many aspects of human function, including puberty, growth, hunger, metabolism, reproduction, and sexual function.

They also contribute to sleep, menstruation, lactation, stress, and mood to mention just a few. So while many women may be thinking that are hormones are rampaging through their bodies with tiny banners saying “Have a baby!”

Yet many professionals believe that hormones have very little impact on a woman’s desire to have a baby and that it is more likely to be outside influences or life experiences.

This revelation brings us back to the view that there is no real logical, rational, or hormonal reason for why women get baby fever and that the reproductive system is still very much a mystery.

The Timing Just Isn’t Right

For many women, the time is just not right to start a family. They may not have a partner or they may have a partner who is not sure if they even want to have a baby. 

If the only reason that you are not having a baby is due to the lack of a partner then there are other options that you could consider:

Solo Adoption

There are obstacles to solo adoption and you can lessen these by planning ahead. Get your finances in order, chat to a financial advisor and get your finances looking healthy. You don’t want your bank account to be your downfall.

Solo IVF or Surrogate

Adoption, IVF, and surrogacy are expensive options, but if you are financially stable and prepared to go it alone then it is a viable option.

Your Partners Just Not Ready

You may find that you are far more ready to start a family than your partner is. They may have things they want to accomplish before they have children, a career, travel, and so on.

It is completely normal for men to be more hesitant than women when it comes to starting a family. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you, that they love you any less or that they will never want a family.

But you do need to discuss these options carefully and ensure that you are both on the same page as if left it could lead to potential marriage problems.

You may be reading this because your husband has baby fever and you don’t want a baby, if so check out our article here.

Working With Children Makes You Want Your Own

Working with children can either make you want to really have a child of your own or it can make you detest any idea of procreation. Either way, you may want to seriously consider if you are in the wrong profession.

If you are working with children and it is making your baby fever worse, you can try some distraction techniques to help ease the desire:

Name five things that you can’t do if you have a child

This is easier to do somedays than others but persevere. 

If you feel you have to indulge the emotions then set a timer

After the timer has gone you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and carry on with your life.

Make plans with single friends

Keeping busy and not allowing yourself time to wallow in your feelings of being childless. Instead make plans for straight after work, no time for anything just grab your heels and go.

Fertility Issues

In the United States, 11% of women have experienced fertility problems, and 9% of men. It is far more common than we let ourselves believe. 

These days there is so much information easily available that most women go into their journey of trying to conceive armed with a wealth of knowledge, that makes them feel confident that there will be no problems.

Unfortunately, as time goes on and there is still no positive test, that confidence can take a nosedive.

Especially when according to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NIH) states that after a year of trying to conceive, between 12% and 15% of couples will still be facing a negative pregnancy test.

There are some common causes of infertility in women such as:

Relaxing When You Have Baby Fever

Having a baby fever can take a toll on you both mentally and physically especially if there are barriers to you actually trying to conceive. But you do need to find ways to relax, here are a few suggestions:

VENT!!

Talk to someone, just remember that your friends and family may not be the best option when it comes to talking about wanting a baby.

They will either be on the side that is all for you having a baby or they will be on the side that thinks it is a stupid idea neither of which will make you feel great.

You may be better looking at an online forum for women, where you will find other women in the same position as you are now and those that have already traveled the path and come out the other side.

Try Guided Meditation

This type of deep breathing technique and relaxation will help you to focus on thinking about nothing except your breathing, this can be extremely helpful when your brain and heart want different things.

Binge-watch

Find something that is nothing to do with children or families and binge-watch the lot.

FAQs

What hormone makes you want a baby?

Oxytocin is often known as the hormone of love because it is involved with lovemaking, fertility, contractions during labor and birth. It helps us to feel good, and it triggers nurturing feelings and behaviors.

What is the best age for a woman to have a baby?

Experts say that the best time to get pregnant is between your late 20s and early 30s. This is because this age range is associated with the best outcomes for both mother and baby.

One study did conclude that the ideal age to give birth to a first child is 30.5. But your age is just one factor that should be considered when deciding to try for a baby.

Why do I have the urge to want a baby?

The deep feelings of wanting to have a baby also known as baby fever can be a result of many factors in our lives. But there is no real evidence to support the belief that there is a biological process that creates this deep longing for a child.

When is the best month to get pregnant?

Spring is one of the best times to have a baby as the main cold and flu season is over by around March and April. Meaning that both you and your baby are less likely to pick something up during those first few weeks.

The Final Thought

For those who choose motherhood, it is a special and unique feeling but it is definitely not all sunshine and rainbows.

But that also doesn’t mean that you should want it any less, it just means that you need to carefully consider all your options and not focus on the daydream of a perfect little baby – as they come with a great deal of mess and stress!

Hi, I'm Emma and I'm a mother to 5 beautiful children aged from 1 to 21 years old- life is hectic! I have learned so much along the way, not only from my own children but also through my professional life. In my positions as a Childminder and Teaching Assistant, I have studied Child Development and The Early Years Developing Practice. I wish to share all of this knowledge and help you with your own parenting journey!