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10 Things To Do When You Find Out You’re Pregnant

One of the most memorable times in your life as a mother will be the moment you find out that you’re pregnant. It might be the feeling of your heart dropping into your stomach or the look on your partner’s face when you take that pregnancy test.

Whatever you remember the most vividly long-term, you will surely have many things running through your mind in the present that you aren’t sure what one is the most important to do first.

Some women feel that the most important thing to do is tell their mother, while other women find it more important to sit down – have a glass of water and a deep breath.

All of the things you’re thinking of are likely important to do right upon finding out, but, which one comes first, or third, or last?

The good part is that you aren’t alone in feeling this way, women are often confused about what they should do first and foremost. Listen to your intuition over anything else.

I believe the key to not having regrets of the order of events unraveling about your newfound pregnancy all comes down to being 100% present in the experience.

Remember to be happy and not stressed, you’re happy and healthy – congratulations on your new little bean!

In this article

1.) Food is fuel and if you want more energy, it’s time to take your hydration and meals seriously

The moment you find out that you’re pregnant, you have to make adjustments to your diet. More immediately, if you drink alcohol, or take prescription medication.

Outside of eliminating potentially toxic substances from your body – making the necessary diet changes toward a more balanced diet is also the key to a healthy pregnancy.

Woman eating healthy dinner from lunch box

Don’t worry, you don’t have to cut out everything you’re eating that isn’t whole foods – but feeling good during pregnancy specifically relies on eating well.

If you eat junk food, you might end up with morning sickness that is worse than it would be if you were eating cleaner.

We all have our hard to give up favorite food and drinks, but let’s go over a few of the big ones that women are totally unsure about in the beginning. You might be surprised at what you can or cannot continue eating throughout your pregnancy.

If we don’t cover it here, you can always ask your primary physician what is best for you personally. Once you have an obstetrician or midwife – they will be there to guide you during this sensitive time in your life.

Should I give up coffee now that I’m pregnant?

Well, this topic is a controversial one, to say the least. It depends on who you’re asking. It depends on how much coffee you’re used to drinking prior to pregnancy. It also depends on how coffee affects you personally.

Ultimately, you know your body best and you will need to limit caffeine intake. If you’re a heavy coffee drinker you will want to cut back if possible to around 200mg a day. That is equal to 1-2 cups a day. says the following regarding caffeine intake for pregnant women, “Though caffeine has benefits, health authorities recommend watching your intake during pregnancy.

Most experts agree that caffeine is safe during pregnancy if it’s limited to 200mg per or less per day. This equals to about 1-2 cups (240-580mL) of coffee or 2-4 cups (540-960mL) of caffeinated tea.”

That seems fair, even for avid coffee lovers like myself.

When I was recently pregnant with my 5th son, in the beginning, stages of pregnancy my stomach was much more sensitive to coffee than prior to pregnancy. Heartburn, vomiting, and dizziness were not uncommon during the first trimester if I had coffee.

Once that passed, it seemed I could drink more coffee without negative effects. The last thing you want to do is suddenly stop drinking coffee, right when you go into labor.

My midwives actually encouraged me to have a cup of coffee during labor to take away my headache from abruptly stopping when I went into labor.

You don’t have to stop suddenly just because you go into labor, and it can actually help your labor move forward smoothly if you have a cup at the usual time of day. Unless you’re having a C-section, a bit of coffee should be okay during labor.

Close-up Of A Woman's Hand Refusing Glass Of Drink

Alcohol consumption should stop once you find out you’re pregnant

Alcohol, unlike coffee, should immediately be discontinued given you’re a regular casual drinker.

If you know that you’re body is more dependent on alcohol than the social drinker – consult your midwife or obstetrician regarding the best way to discontinue your alcohol consumption.

Long-term alcohol use during pregnancy can be damaging to your body and brain, as well as your baby’s.

Alcohol should be eliminated from your body as soon as it is safe to do so. For most women, this will look like their last drink being their last.

The good news is that your body has a natural protective barrier around your baby during the first trimester of pregnancy. Many women end up drinking a little bit before they find out they are pregnant – don’t worry if this ends up being you.

Prescription medications might need to be avoided depending on which ones you’re prescribed

The best-case scenario when becoming pregnant is when you have planned ahead prior to becoming pregnant – you know the complications your medications will have on your pregnancy when you find out you’re pregnant.

But, in more than 50% of pregnancies across the United States, this will not be the case. In fact, less than half of all pregnancies are planned. Which makes it difficult for women to plan what to do with the medication they already have in their system.

The good news is that in today’s society, the medication available won’t have negative consequences to an unborn baby. There are a few medications that should be discontinued immediately upon finding out about your pregnancy.

Let’s go over the most common over-the-counter medications that you should discontinue until you see your obstetrician, and which medications are safe to take during pregnancy.

Are pain relievers like Advil, Ibuprofen, or Excedrin Migraine safe during pregnancy?

At some point in your pregnancy you might end up getting a headache, fever, or a few sore muscles – when this happens the big question is – what should you take?

Beautiful cute pregnant woman having body aches

This is the time when you’re muscles are stretching in ways they never have before. You might find that you’re having aches throughout your body.

Not only the aching of your muscles as they transition, being pregnant doesn’t ensure you won’t end up with the flu or a fever. Headaches are also quite common during pregnancy if you aren’t drinking enough water in general.

Acetaminophen is safe to take during pregnancy for fevers and body aches

You can find acetaminophen at your grocery store, or you can make a doctor appointment to be prescribed a higher dose than what’s at the store.

This common pain reliever is commonly used by pregnant and non-pregnant people safely. Acetaminophen is helpful for muscle aches, fever, and headaches – you can take it safely during pregnancy for short periods of time.

Be sure to avoid taking it for a long period of time, consuming acetaminophen for 28 days or longer might impact your baby down-the-road and be linked to ADHD and other disorders.

The best rule of practice when taking acetaminophen is to take it for the shortest timeframe possible. And you’ll want to avoid taking acetaminophen if you’re allergic to it, or if you have pre-existing liver problems.

When pregnant, your liver will be doing more work than previously. Try to also use other non-invasive remedies for the discomfort you’re experiencing if necessary.

Ibuprofen is not safe during pregnancy especially if you’re 30-weeks-pregnant or beyond

Boxes Of Paracetamol And Ibuprofen

Many women take ibuprofen prior to pregnancy often, which is safe. Though once you become pregnant, you are no longer safe to consume ibuprofen, doctors advise pregnant women to avoid ibuprofen at all costs during pregnancy.

Taking ibuprofen beyond 30-weeks pregnant is dangerous because it can cause premature closing of the ductus arteriosus which is a vital blood vessel in your baby that needs to stay open while in the womb.

The blood vessel naturally closes a few days after birth, but if it closes beforehand it can cause high blood pressure in the lungs of your baby.

If you’ve already taken some ibuprofen at the beginning of your pregnancy without realizing it – don’t worry it happens! Many women have done this, and their baby grew safely and was born without issue.

Cough syrups and lozenges should be questioned upon finding out that you’re pregnant some should be discontinued

If you use lozenges during pregnancy be sure to use them in small increments – long-term or excessive use can cause diarrhea.

Overall the lozenges that contain antibacterial and anesthetic properties are safe to use during pregnancy – temporarily.

Then there are lozenge products that contain benzydamine, the products that contain this ingredient should not be used during pregnancy at all.

If you decide to gargle saltwater for a sore throat during pregnancy, be sure to use Himalayan salt or a brand that doesn’t contain any iodine. That’s ’cause iodine can cause thyroid dysfunction during an especially sensitive time for your body.

If you have a sore throat, an organic home remedy during pregnancy is to drink an herbal honey tea

There are plenty of organic herbal teas on the market that will soothe your sore throat during pregnancy. You can get them at your local grocers or online. Look for a brew that contains honey, licorice root, and slippery elm bark.

Even if the tea doesn’t contain all of these ingredients even one will be helpful toward soothing your sore throat.

You can’t go wrong with herbal tea for a sore throat, you can even make a basic one at home with a few chunks of ginger boiled in a bit of hot water – then add some honey.

A ginger-based tea will also help if you have nausea immediately upon drinking it, while it simultaneously fights off whatever bug you have that has caused a sore throat.

Nasal sprays are generally safe to use during pregnancy

Many women are used to using nasal sprays prior to pregnancy when they have are congested, these products remain safe to use during pregnancy.

Any of the nasal sprays sold today containing beclomethasone or budesonide are considered safe during pregnancy. Use nasal sprays for the shortest timeframe possible, and result to other home remedies before utilizing a medicinal nasal spray.

If you have nasal congestion or rhinitis during pregnancy, you can try a steamed shower room

Humidifiers and steamy shower rooms work wonders for rhinitis (stuffy nose) during pregnancy. You can purchase a humidifier inexpensively, and place it in your bedroom overnight or during the day while your nose is congested.

Most humidifiers contain small pockets where you can add essential oils like; rosemary, tea tree, or peppermint to assist in alleviating your congestion.

Don’t be shy when adding essential oils. A humidifier is nice to have at home for labor and delivery when that time comes around too. Essential oils are calming during pregnancy, and help you focus while feeling better.

In addition to a humidifier and essential oils, you can use a saline-based nasal spray which is easier for your body to process during pregnancy than a steroid-based nasal spray.

Steam the shower room before you go to bed or anytime you’re feeling super stuffed up and take it easy. The best remedy for congestion is rest, hydration, and vitamins.

Acne medication should be questioned immediately upon finding out you’re pregnant since some types are linked to deformities in the fetus

If you have been taking any of the following medications for your acne, it’s time to discontinue using them as they are unsafe for your growing fetus:

  • Isotretinoin – Absobrica, Amnesteem, Claravis, Myorisan, Sotret, Zenatane
  • Tazarotene – Avage, Fabior, Tazorac, Zorac
  • Spironolactone – Aldactone

Any of these acne medications can cause serious birth defects, especially with usage at 30-weeks and onward.

Cream Apply

You can use a verified safe acne medication during pregnancy or a home remedy

We all have heard the tales of how uncontrollable our skin becomes the moment we become pregnant due to fluctuating hormones and newfound sensitivities – it’s true!

I can vouch that my skin breaking out was one of the first thing’s that caused me to question if I was pregnant, and I don’t regularly have acne outside of pregnancy.

The best approach to handling your pregnant acne is to change your skin routine to a much more gentle approach. To cleanse you can use a gentle sea sponge and a tad bit of coconut oil or olive oil.

Apply the oil to your face, and prepare to wipe it off with the sea sponge in 10-20 minutes. After 20 minutes or so, scrub it off with the sea sponge and water. After you’ve scrubbed off the oil, you can pat your face to dry with a clean towel.

Be sure to change your pillowcase every other night to keep your skin as clean as possible – since your skin renews itself each night make sure you get plenty of sleep.

On top of that aim to drink more water and eat clean whole foods so your body is nourished, which helps eliminate acne naturally.

2.) Tell your partner and see how they feel – enjoy the news with your immediate family 

You’re probably making up a list of the most important people to tell that you’re pregnant. This can be fun if you like to get creative.

Even though you might have a bunch of people to tell that you’ve recently conceived – your partner is the most important person I would assume.

Telling your partner if you feel comfortable prior to weeks is safe to do, but other family members should wait a bit longer to hear the big news.

Couple in love pregnant cuddling, waiting for baby

Most doctors agree that beyond 12-weeks is a good time to tell your family members aside from their immediate spouse. The risk for miscarriage beyond 12-weeks dramatically drops after the 12-week mark.

That said, many couples love to tell their mothers, or family members in fun way’s like a surprise pregnancy reveal.

This might be something you’d like to consider, in the case it’s your mother or father’s first grandbaby – this can be even more exciting to do for your pregnancy.

For your spouse, you can do the same type of pregnancy reveal if you’d like to or have them present for a pregnancy test.

Oftentimes it happens naturally when you let them know you have missed your period and the pieces to the puzzle start getting put together.

So we miss this opportunity to have fun with our spouses, but the lucky ones get to make their spouse a t-shirt or write them a letter revealing their pregnancy.

3.) Schedule an appointment with a nearby midwife or obstetrician

Midwives and obstetricians should be contacted right away, well, you can enjoy the first week of you and your spouse being the only ones who know you’re pregnant.

As long as you don’t suspect any underlying issues, then enjoy a week of just you two knowing and then get ahold of your obstetrician and schedule an appointment.

At your first appointment with your midwife, you’ll be able to hear your little one’s heartbeat for the first time, which ensures they are active. Your midwife will also check your vitals to ensure your body is handling your baby well.

You will probably even get those adorable ultrasound pictures if you’re really lucky, other times women have to wait for a visit to an ultrasound clinic around 28-weeks for an anatomy scan.


This is something else that you will be referred to at your first appointment with your obstetrician.

Scheduling your first appointment will be fun, but it doesn’t come before figuring out which clinic or midwife you’d like to go to. Knowing the difference between a midwife and an obstetrician is key to finding a place that best suits your family.

If you’re planning to have a homebirth a midwife will be best for you, because they specialize in delivering babies at home.

If you’re wanting to have a hospital birth, you should try to schedule an appointment with an obstetrician who networks with the hospital you prefer to deliver to.

You have about halfway into your pregnancy to decide who you would like to help deliver your baby. I find that after the halfway mark of pregnancy it feels like you’re unable to get to know your midwife or obstetrician.

Don’t worry if you end up having your first appointment at the first place that has an appointment open. I get it. It’s an exciting time where we’d all love to have our pregnancy confirmed sooner than later.

Funny little joke, with my first pregnancy on my very first ultrasound at six weeks – I found out that I was having twins instead of one baby! Be ready for anything at your first appointment.

4.) Find which prenatal vitamin is best for you and your baby

It’s one thing to stop taking certain medications or pain relievers as we mentioned above, but it’s another story to incorporate vitamins so let’s get on the right track with those right from the start.

Choosing a prenatal vitamin should be done right when you find out you’re pregnant. What better time to focus on a wholesome nutrient and vitamin-rich diet – while taking extra vitamins to keep your body and your baby up to speed.

Some prenatal vitamins include a large scope of essential vitamins vitamin B12, iron, calcium, vitamin D, just to name a few.

You’re looking for quality when it comes to choosing your prenatal. I have found that prenatal vitamins sourced from low-quality places can induce morning sickness.

Balance is key with vitamins, and when it comes to vitamins you might want to go with a plant-derived company during your pregnancy. Vitamins that come straight from whole foods are the easiest for your body to absorb.

Most plant-based vitamins use organic fruits and veggies when obtaining the vitamins. If you have a sensitive stomach it’s worth making the extra effort to find one that works for you.

It can be a matter of light and day, I’ve found personally, with vitamins that work well and those that don’t – feeling your best is the most important thing right now.

5.) Download a pregnancy app that will help you understand what is going on with your body and baby every week

With pregnancy comes huge excitement, you’re the new mamma so live it up like one! Download a pregnancy app as soon as you discover your pregnancy to find out what is happening with your baby each week.

If you’re more of a book reader than an app reader,  you can also order a pregnancy diary. These are wonderfully in-depth about how your baby and your body are shifting every week.

Sometimes pregnancy diaries break thing’s down into the day – most have areas that you can take notes in as well.

Don’t be ashamed of wanting to document every little thing during your pregnancy, your child might thank you later. Or, you might thank yourself when you’re trying to put together the way you’ve been shifting emotionally and physically.

Now that you’re going to be a parent, get used to writing down a lot of things. According to, the best apps today are the following:

Sprout pregnancy received a 4.7-star rating from users

The best part about Sprout is that it’s free, so you can save all of your funds for your new little one.

Sprout shows you realistic heartbeats, kicks, and life-like simulations of your little one. It offers a meaningful pregnancy journal, where you can track any thought you might be having.

Yet, probably the biggest bonus of this pregnancy app is that it gives you a personal timeline and a contraction counter. So you don’t have to download another app to count your contractions – this app sticks with you through the months of your pregnancy.

Ovia, an app that helps you count down to your big with as much excitement as you have

Many pregnancy apps give you information regarding what’s going on with your baby and your body – but not many apps will set goals with you during pregnancy. Fit mammas, this one is for you!

Ovia gives you space to set goals throughout your pregnancy. Sometimes being pregnant can be hectic. This pregnancy app helps your mind stay clear and your memory sharp.

The wonderful thing about Ovia is that you will customize the app to your baby, you get to see his or her adorable name, gender, and any relevant health information time you open it up.

Baby2Body is almost unbeatable for all of those athlete mammas or those who want to become more active during pregnancy

Long gone are the days where pregnant women ‘must lay on the couch and keep their baby safe.’ Of course, you should do this if you’ve been told to do so by your healthcare provider but you get the point.

Ladies, let’s get active during pregnancy, you and your baby deserve it. Heck, it just might be the game-changer during labor and delivery for you. Physical activity is becoming the health-hack suggested by doctors to women at an astonishing rate.

Exercise is becoming increasingly important to do throughout the timeframe of a woman’s pregnancy.

It helps keep blood flowing to your baby, keeps your heart and muscles healthy at a rather ‘slowed time for your body, and helps your body prepare for labor and delivery.

Baby2Body is a fitness app for pregnancy, fully equipped with your very own personal prenatal and postnatal fitness trainer. Recipes, nutrition, goals, breathing exercises, and so much more are all built into the Baby2Body pregnancy app.

The pregnancy apps mentioned above can help you key in on important aspects to pregnancy that might not be thought of.

You don’t have to download a pregnancy application, but they’re a great way to stay engaged and looking forward to the birth of your baby.

6.) Take a walk or get some physical activity planned for your week

Happy pregnant asian woman walking at park

Speaking of physical activities, plan a walk or a session at the nearby track sometime in the near future. Physical activity during pregnancy has countless benefits, plus it’ll keep your morning sickness down as well.

If you aren’t feeling up to being active due to feeling extremely tired or nauseous – catch up with a bit of activity when your second-trimester wind hits.

Yoga is an excellent way to keep moving and your muscles stretched

One thing that always seems to hit the spot for pregnant ladies is yoga. There are many styles of yoga, from gentle to hot yoga, so it’s likely you’ll find a suitable style for your personal level.

Get online and search for prenatal yoga and you’ll be sure to find endless free videos, there is even yoga for nausea.

Walks and the bike trainer is another good option to keep the sweat up throughout pregnancy

Exercise doesn’t have to be that strenuous on your body the entire point of physical activity during pregnancy is that you keep thing’s moving.

Women who are sedentary during pregnancy are more likely to have emergency C-sections or interventions during labor and delivery.

Why is working out and sweating during pregnancy important in the first place?

Strenuous exercises like lifting weights or running far distances aren’t encouraged for pregnant ladies – but, physical activity is absolutely recommended.

It used to be believed that women should be as careful, and sedentary as possible when pregnant but this is no longer true amongst the pregnant community.

Pregnant woman exercising

Working out during pregnancy does many important things such as reducing swelling, eliminating bloating, keeping your heart healthy, and boosting your mood.

Many women benefit from their workouts late in pregnancy – when it’s harder to sleep – working out makes it easier to stay asleep.

Restless leg syndrome is something pregnancy might bring for the first time for ladies – and working out can literally counteract the symptoms of this unwelcoming ailment.

If you’re someone who is used to working out already, the last thing you’ll want to do is stop when you find out you’re pregnant.

You’ll want to keep it up, more for your emotional status than physical. Even short gentle workouts can help alleviate a bad mood or the intense feelings of pregnancy. Exercise keeps thing’s flowing smoothly in pregnancy so-to-speak.

Which signs do I need to look out for and what are the signs of my water breaking late in pregnancy?

Late in pregnancy, you’ll need to be mindful of which workouts you’re doing, heavy lifting(more than 25lbs) isn’t advised after the first trimester. It is advised that pregnant women get 30 minutes of exercise up to 5 times a week.

That said, there are a few precautions that should be taken throughout your pregnancy, listed below;

  • Activities like cleaning your house or hiking slowly count as exercise
  • Workout in comfortable clothing that does not restrict your belly
  • Don’t engage in sports that present a high risk of falling on your abdomen
  • Altitude changes in sports can present more intensely to pregnant women
  • Working out in extreme temperatures don’t help keep the oxygen delivered to your baby
  • Any exercise in very hot weather should be avoided
  • Bouncy type stretches can put unnecessary strain on your abdominal muscles
  • Yoga positions or Tai Chi positions without any movement can restrict blood flow
  • Forward bending poses late in pregnancy encourage your water to break

Pregnant woman suffering with headache

You might consider slowing down if you start experiencing any of the following:

  • Feeling more irritable after working out
  • Joint or muscle pain
  • If you’re having more trouble sleeping the following week after working out

Your body will tell you when it’s time to wrap up the workout you’re doing at the time.

Your body signals you when you start to feel tired or fatigued, you begin having painful Braxton hicks or real contractions or they pick up in frequency, or if you have vaginal bleeding.

Another sure sign of needing to slow it down is when you begin feeling dizzy or out of breath.

While there are many other signs that indicate your body is tired, you should be sure to listen to the ones previously mentioned and rest instead of pushing onward.

I am considered a high-risk pregnancy. What should I do to keep my heart healthy?

For many women, who are not considered high-risk, working out does good thing’s for them. Though, there are some cases when a pregnant woman shouldn’t be performing physically strenuous activities.

If you have any been told any of the following by your doctor even early on in pregnancy, don’t continue being physically active outside of your usual daily routines.

If you get your blood-work back after your first pregnancy and you’re anemic

Most anemia in pregnant women comes from a lack of vitamin named folate – folate helps the body produce healthy new cells – including healthy red blood cells. This is something to be aware of if you’re blood work shows that you’re anemic.

Anemia can cause all kinds of issues while working out including feeling dizzy or fainting, you can become short on breath quickly, or even become tired early on while being physically active.

Pregnant woman in bed

Rest and eat plenty of dark leafy green if you’ve been told you’re anemic at any point in your pregnancy.

Placenta previa most commonly happens after the 26th week of pregnancy

Next up for causing modified or full bed rest for pregnant women is placenta previa, this is when the placenta covers all or some of the cervix or your placenta is placed in an irregular position.

Women will almost always be discouraged from physical activity when they have placenta previa due to the increased risk of premature labor and bleeding during pregnancy.

You should ask your doctor if there are any exercises for you if you’ve been diagnosed with placenta previa. Most of the time placenta previa is diagnosed after 26-weeks of pregnancy.

Pre-eclampsia or your blood pressure is high

You can buy a blood pressure cuff and monitor your blood-pressure right at home, now that you’ve found out that you’re pregnant. This can be a good thing even for women who don’t have pre-eclampsia, to get to know the messages of your body.

Blood pressure is a good indicator of general health, and especially important when it comes to pre-eclampsia which is the determining factor of being diagnosed with pre-eclampsia.

Your doctor or midwife will let you know if they discover you’re having high blood pressure at any point in your pregnancy.

7.) Predict your due date based upon your last period

The first day of your last period is generally the tell-all of due dates. Write down the first day of your last period and calculate 280 days or 40-weeks out from that day. Viola, that’s your due date.

If you don’t recall the first day of your last period then let your midwives know this information because they can refer you to have an anatomy scan done to gather more information.

I had to wait for an ultrasound to predict my due date during my last pregnancy – I had an IUD in and wasn’t tracking my periods – so I had to wait for an ultrasound to truly predict my due date.

Baby Due Date Reminder

The ultrasound is a pretty accurate way to set your due date. If you’re impatient and want to know how far along you might be, you can always try to feel the top of your uterus gently and research where it will be felt during what week.

Feeling the top of your uterus only really works if your at least 8 weeks along.

If you’ve had an Introvenious pregnancy predicting your due date will be slightly different to predict

Rather than tracking the first day of your last period, if you’ve had an IV transfer, you will track your pregnancy according to your transfer date.

This is commonly done, there are roughly 250,000 cycles performed to assist in women becoming pregnant a year. That estimates to be around 77,000 successful pregnancies all of which will need to track their due date by using their transfer date.

Your due date can change throughout the course of your pregnancy for the following reasons

There are a few things that your obstetrician will track during your pregnancy that proves your baby is growing at a good rate. Your baby’s alpha-fetoprotein (AFP), and the fundal height of your baby.

If either of these is becoming off at any point during your pregnancy, your doctor might want to change your due date accordingly.

Another cause of due dates changing mid-pregnancy is if you were unsure of your last period and the later ultrasound in your pregnancy proves to be different than the early ultrasound.

Don’t stress if your due date changes, this happens a lot. Your baby will come out when he or she is meant to.

8.) Think about the way your baby will change certain things in your life

So you’ve checked your workout routine, you’ve planned your due date, and now it’s time to sit down and contemplate the other ways your baby will change your life.

Elegant young woman planning pregnancy

Having a baby will bring about many changes, but what are the most common things that couples see a change in their lives when they have a baby?

One reason to sit down and contemplate what changes might happen comes right down to being prepared. Preparing for a baby is an emotional and physical job. Us mammas have a better time adjusting smoothly if we know what to expect.

In my time of having 5 babies, I would say that knowledge truly is power. Make sure that you prepare yourself as well as your partner for the new addition to your family. It can be a challenging, and intense time for everyone involved.

The most common changes that mothers and couples find challenging are below, here are the thing’s to think about when expecting a newborn;

Finances are sure to change all of those diapers add up

It might be obvious that your finances will change when you have a baby, but by how much or little. What aspects of financial change apply to your own life? This is what you can sit down with your significant other and discuss.

Preparing for these changes will help you adjust better when it happens. Families who have one child can expect to see an increase in spending accumulated to roughly 12,980 a year.

Of course, the more money your family has the more you will spend on your child. It’s estimated that 29% of that total cost will go toward housing for your child, and 18% of that cost goes toward food for your child.

It can be more or less depending on your spending habits and annual income, but this is a good way to predict the possible costs of raising your little one.

Wrapping your head around the potential expenses you’ll be adjusting to, especially in the beginning can help you and your spouse remain stress-free when you have to come up with these funds.

Families who plan, especially in the beginning will be less likely to feel stressed out about their growing family.

Baby with clothing and infant care items

Writing a list of the expenses for your newborn is a helpful way to ensure you aren’t forgetting any of the requirements you’ll have to purchase to raise your children, such as childcare or special healthcare needs for your child.

9.) Think about what way will your relationship with your partner change

When you think about having a baby with your significant other, you might be flooded with positive images and thoughts of your adorable new baby.

But, there is more to the story than all of the positive things along with having your baby. Being prepared for these changes in your relationship specifically is a great way to prepare for the most common changes coming your way.

Planning and discussing the potential shifts in your relationship is a good way to keep your relationship strong during the newborn phase.

Things get easier, and we all have various levels of resiliency when it comes to raising our children. This is why it’s important to discuss how you feel personally with your partner before going through the experience.

Thus, you will have a base of concerns to return to when the time comes, helping you and your partner adjust better.

Set goals with your partner before having your baby be gentle about the results

Parents and baby

Setting goals with your spouse about adjusting to your upcoming family dynamic shifts will help you feel the little wins happening on a daily basis.

Think of couple goals like you and your partner showering the first week after giving birth can make you both feel like a team unit.

Your goals don’t have to be big wins, they can be thing’s such as:

  • Take a walk together once a week
  • Have mamma take a nap a few times a day for the first 3-weeks after giving birth
  • Have a movie night with each other for bonding time

These are just a few ways to feel more like a family and have restful family time together during the first few weeks after giving birth. Yet, giving birth isn’t going to be the most challenging phase that you go through with your spouse.

You have to be prepared for the big changes, the changes between you and your partner that are the ‘really changed’ changes.

The changes I’m talking about are the ones where you get into bed 4 months after having your baby and realize you and your spouse haven’t cuddled together.

Even prior to having your baby, it’s a good idea to sit your spouse down and discuss the physical and emotional changes you’re expecting to go through.

Ask them to be understanding, and decide on a few ways you both can check in with one another and turn your issues into future goals.

Couples have less bonding time after having their baby

It’s no doubt that having a baby will take up your time and attention. Plus, you have all of your responsibilities than you did before having your baby. Because of this, you will have less bonding time with your little one.

One way to counteract this is to make a new form of bonding time with your partner – if you used to bond by going out together – now you can bond by staying in and making dinner together.

Have a few coloring books on hand after you have your baby. Adult coloring books are a great way to spend time together doing something therapeutic.

Basically, anything that you and your partner can do to exert your energy creatively together is a good way to bond after having your baby.

Your conversations with your partner might become more like irritated demands

Postpartum recovery can be a time of pent-up energy since you’re not getting around like you used to, and it’s likely your hubby has had to pick up all of the extra chores you aren’t able to get to.

Keep reminding yourself to be patient, and talk with your partner ahead of time about the possible demands they’ll have to pick up if you aren’t able to move around very much.

Since things are causing such a difference in activities for everyone involved, it can cause your conversations that used to be positive to become irritated calls to one another.

You might find that your partner is doing the chores in a different way than you do – that’s okay. Remind yourself that this is just for the time being, and you’ll be able to get the hang of things again eventually.

Let your partner know that you both will need to have patience toward one another, you could even write a list of things that you both see might change and then just make the conversation around having patience with one another.

It might feel like you each are only shouting demands to one another, but this kind of communication is much needed at this time. Voicing the way you each need each other will help you work much better as a team in the long-run.

Emotional young woman quarreling with upset boyfriend

Your spontaneous nature might go out the window if you don’t work at it

Women and men find that they become a little more serious after having their baby. This time in your lives is something special, but can be a time where everyone is behaving a little more seriously.

If you or your partner notice that the spontaneous nature you used to have has turned into a time of rigid planning – rest assured that things will loosen up again eventually.

Right now, each of you is learning how to care for another human being – that’s a pretty serious task.

Enjoy the good times, relax when possible, and ask for a break when you need one. Giving you and your partner breaks after having a baby is essential for your well-being.

If things get ‘unfair’, it can become obvious quickly that one of you is building resentment toward the other freedom. Again, this is where communication, needs, desires all come into play.

If mamma is experiencing the baby blues, it’ll be difficult

Baby blues could be another reason that thing’s become very different for your relationship with your spouse after giving birth. Women can experience postpartum depression (the baby blues) in different ways.

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to postpartum depression. It might be hard to voice what you’ve been going through – you might need to seek therapy for a little while after having your baby.

A therapist offers a person to talk to that doesn’t have a biased opinion – it can really help to loosen things up if you’re able to get them off your chest. Figuring out what exactly we mothers are experiencing doesn’t come easily after having a baby.

Being so focused on your baby, and making sure they’re fed, bathed, and have a clean diaper can seem endlessly taxing to you emotionally.

Spending all of your extra thoughts and energy on your new baby can make it seem impossible or unimportant to sort out what you’re personally going through – this is far from true though.

Young woman suffering from postpartum depression

If you don’t take care of yourself, how could you possibly care for another human being to your fullest potential?

I know, I know, I don’t like to ask for help either – but the first time you can incorporate a salt bath or a little time for yourself – please do it.

You’ll find that even 1o minutes purely focused on you, can really help your mind work through the hardship you’re experiencing.

Look out for signs of postpartum depression and let your spouse know why thing feels different between the both of you because of the baby blues.

Signs of postpartum depression

  • Anxiety and fear about daily tasks
  • Sadness and irritability
  • If you feel overwhelmed about everything
  • Crying more than usual
  • Lack of or increased appetite or just unusual eating patterns that weren’t there before
  • Poor concentration
  • Issues with sleeping

You definitely won’t be having sex for a few weeks

It might be kind of obvious that you won’t be able to have sexual intercourse with your partner for a bit, but how long is that? This varies for every relationship, and how a mother feels greatly determines that.

With that said, you must know, that a mother is not the only one to decide on this.

There are laws of nature that say ‘if a man sees his wife is tired, anxiety-driven, and overwhelmed he’ll be less likely to engage in sex’… if this starts to happen then don’t put the blame on anyone.

Time heals all, and you both will need some time, space, and extra care to get through this time together.

Don’t start pointing fingers if sex hasn’t happened right when you want it to, or let your partner know how you’re feeling if your spouse wants to but you don’t.

Excited wife holding beloved husband in arms grateful for support

The key to getting through this change in your relationship is patience, love, and understanding.

I know how easy it can be for either of you to jump to conclusions, and insecurities can arise for many people during this time – but try to ride out the high road.

There is a reason you made a baby together, and you’ll be back to that all in good time. Try to focus on other ways you each can grow internally during this time.

10.) Start a baby book that documents everything from here on out for your little one

The next thing you can do is start a baby book for your little one. Keep all of the ultrasounds in it that happen before birth for the time being.

You just found out that you’re pregnant, so you might want to get pictures of your parents finding out about their first grandbaby to include in it.

You can also put pictures of your pregnancy reveal and baby shower in it. Just keep the little important things along the way, because they add up quickly over time.

Baby books are a great way to show your baby the world at the time they were born, even thing’s like ‘who was president’ or what you were doing the day you found out you were pregnant can be great to show your children once they’re older.

In Conclusion

There are many things to do when you find out that you’re pregnant, and following your intuition is probably the most important one. This list is what other mothers, including myself, have found to be some of the most important to do.

If you come up with more things to do when you find out that you’re pregnant – do them! Those urges when they come up are what make the experience. Your baby is now apart of your world, how exciting it can be!


I Am Pregnant, Now What? – What To Expect

5 Things To Do When You Find Out You’re Pregnant – Tommys

Is any acne treatment safe to use during pregnancy? – Lower Highlands Dermatology

Stuffy Nose During Pregnancy

11 Things To Do After You Find Out You’re Pregnant – Mommy’s Bundle