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Seeing that little plus sign on the pregnancy may have caused your heart to swell initially. But, perhaps after a few months, that unbridled joy dwindled, and now you’re left feeling hopeless, alone, and regretful of your decision to become pregnant.
If this applies to you, know that you are not alone. Your body is going through something quite challenging and rigorous. You’re growing a human being, after all!
If you’re looking for guidance, here’s my advice, from one mother to another, about dealing with those negative thoughts during the first and second trimester.
Table of Contents
Am I A Bad Person?
Believe it or not, many pregnant women may feel like this during their own pregnancy. Regrets may arise when you least expect them to. Those raging hormones are no joke.
If you’re feeling like you no longer want to be pregnant throughout these nine months, this does not automatically make you a bad person or a mad mother. Separate yourself from your emotions.
It may be harder if you suffer from the following:
- Bi-polar Disoder
- Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
Pregnancy may exacerbate these feelings and pre-existing disorders.
Why You Feel Like You Don’t Want to Be Pregnant Anymore
These feelings can stem from a wide variety of sources. Maybe you’re nervous about giving birth? Perhaps the father of your child has left you feeling alone throughout your pregnancy. Or, like I previously stated, you may be suffering from a mental disorder.
Whatever the reason may be, try and consider the fact that these negative emotions can be temporary. Find the root, and you may find answers.
For example, if this is your first pregnancy, you may feel anxious about the uncertainty — your entire life is about to change, and you could be feeling that it’s changing for the worst.
Related Article: Hypnobabies Review
Even the Best Parents Struggle
I’m not a perfect mom. Sometimes I send my kids to school with mismatched socks. There are some nights where we call in for pizza instead of making a balanced dinner. The list goes on and on.
But even the so-called ‘best parents’ in the world feel nervous upon hearing the news that they are pregnant. No one is ever really ready to take on this life-changing role.
If you’re worried about not being ‘enough’ for your future child, put those thoughts to rest. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. (I’m pretty sure they don’t even exist!)
They simply need someone to care for them. They need someone to kiss skinned elbows and hold them tight when they have nightmares.
Sure, parenthood is one of the most grueling experiences a single person or couple can ever experience. But it’s also one of the most magical things you will come to know.
What You Need to Know About Adoption
However, I am not here to invalidate any one’s feelings and fears about becoming a mother. I only wish to reassure those doubting moms who feel the weight of the world on their shoulders during this stressful time in their lives.
These doubts can often feel so strong that their minds can travel to dark places. But adoption is also an option.
A Private Adoption
You can choose the parents for your biological child when you choose adoption over foster care. Additionally, they won’t have to experience what it’s like to live in a foster home — they’ll find their next family immediately.
Adoption agencies are a lot more thorough. This can often be a weight lifted off your shoulders.
You get less of a say when your biological child is put into the foster system. You also won’t know how long they’ll be in the system before they are adopted.
With a foster care system, you may not be able to choose the level of contact you wish to keep with your child as they grow up either. Research these two if you don’t think you can provide your child with a decent quality of life.
What Should I do If I Am Feeling Unsure?
Make a List
If you’re feeling unsure about what to do given your circumstances, make a list of the pros and cons of birthing and raising your child.
- You have an incredible support system
- You have experienced feelings similar to this and they have always passed
- You are already an incredible mom, experiencing nerves with this new baby
- Your baby’s father may not be in the picture
- You may not be financially stable
- You may not have a large support system
- You may not have had a lot of experience with kids and worry about what kind of mother you will be
Fear and nervousness are normal. At the end of the day, ask yourself how you feel about the growing life inside of you. If you feel love and admiration for your future child, know that these dark feelings will pass.
No one suddenly becomes a confident parent overnight. Becoming a better parent is something you pick up over time.
Seek Professional Help
Postpartum depression is often talked about when discussing maternal mental health. But something that isn’t given enough of the spotlight is depression during pregnancy. This happens to millions of women each year.
Therapy is often the best solution. A professional can help you diagnose and treat several mental health conditions that are affecting your quality of life.
They will also give you a safe space to express your honest feelings about your pregnancy. You won’t have to worry about feeling judged either.
If you’re feeling guilty about wanting your pregnancy to be over with, push those negative thoughts aside. You’re doing fantastic. Pregnancy isn’t always rainbows and sunshine — like it’s depicted in TV shows and movies.
The reality is that it can often feel quite isolating. If you’ve been feeling like this for a while, find someone to talk to. Finally, I highly suggest speaking to a professional about these feelings too, if you’re worried about being judged.