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Child rearing in Lay man’s language is all about understanding how to raise your kids. It involves figuring out whether you should be the liberal, conservative, permissive, authoritative, punitive, or non-punitive parent to your child- Yes; all these contribute greatly to the future of your kid.
If you’re a parent looking for the best child-rearing techniques and practices, you are in the right place. Read on!
Table of Contents
Definition of Child Rearing
Before indulging further into the topic, it is prudent to have basic knowledge of what child-rearing is. What does child rearing mean? Well, in simple language, this is the process where parents decide on how to focus and raise their children.
Child-rearing is greatly attributed to the parent style used. How you communicate and deal with your kids plays a significant role in the end results achieved. There is no important stage in a human’s life, such as the childhood stage.
The childhood stage of a human involves all the learning, growth, and development. Whether you’ll wash your hands before eating or say a prayer before bed, the childhood stage determines all this. We, therefore, cannot emphasize more on how important it is to consider how you, as a parent decide to raise your child.
Different Types of Parenting Styles
According to psychology researchers, there are numerous parenting styles, with four main ones. The parenting styles differ from each other in whether the parent is emotionally neglectful or responsive, and the few or many rules the parent creates. We’ve included a helpful infographic from Mom Junction as well as a description of the different parenting styles.
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Just as the name suggests, indulgent parents are involved with their kids. They make numerous attempts to direct their kids’ behaviors. However, they normally avoid confrontations but allow the children to make most of the decisions for themselves. Moreover, they are responsive to the needs of their children.
According to research, children brought up by indulgent parents normally have lower grades and more behavioral problems but have very high self-esteem.
Authoritarian parents are very strict, inflexible, and unbending. Such parents try to control each and every aspect of their kid’s life. The parents don’t allow the kids to make their own choices. Authoritarian parents demand obedience without questions. Moreover, they may use harsh disciplinary actions on their kids when correcting them, thus making them insensitive to the child’s emotions.
Authoritarian parents make rules without giving reasons and will impose harsh consequences when the rules are broken. Children brought up by authoritarian parents grow up to have difficulties in expressing themselves and with no specific direction.
The children grow with difficulties in socializing and forming trusting and lasting relationships with others. They are unfriendly towards their peers, and also find it difficult to complete tasks.
Authoritative parents are firm, kind, and loving. They set rules and expect their kids to abide by these rules. The parents are neither over strict, nor are that over-indulgent, striking a great balance between these two.
Authoritative parents balance between very high expectations and those that are too low. Unlike the authoritarian parents, these parents allow their kids to make decisions in their age brackets. Also, they encourage their kids to take on more responsibilities with them as they grow.
Authoritative parents respond greatly and provide for the needs of their children, but are careful not to curve into each of their needs. They create rules and guidelines and provide their kids with relevant reasons behind the rules.
In case the kids break any of the rules, natural consequences will take place without any real harm coming to the kids. Children raised up by authoritarian parents grow up to be independent, socially competent, and display a high sense of responsibility.
The difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles lies in the communication, warmth, and styles of discipline. Whereas authoritarian parents are forceful, authoritative parents are reasonable. Moreover, authoritative parents communicate love and warmth, something that the authoritarian parents lack.
Permissive parents are over caring, providing their kids with plenty of love and warmth, without setting limits. They are indulgent and don’t want to impose their will on their kids. There are usually no rules and definitely no consequences thereafter.
The parents may make their kids avoid logical or natural consequences in a bid to save them from unhappiness, hurt feelings, or perceived harm.
The parents are normally loving and kind, but might be frustrated when the child becomes defiant. Despite the frustration, they will not take any actions fearing to harm their children physically or emotionally.
Kids raised by permissive parents become egocentric and lack self-control. They are usually impulsive and frustrated, trying to function within the expectation of society. They may find it difficult to adapt to adulthood as they lack the experience of molding their wishes to the expectations of others.
The name of this parenting style says it all about these parents. They don’t create rules for the children and normally show very little response to the kids’ needs. Basically, the children are on their own. Kids of such parents grow up with lots of problems in life. They are normally emotionally lacking, have no self-control, and their academic performance is poorer than the average.
There are many parenting styles available to us but it can be hard to choose. There are so many variables and how our choices affect our kids is always something to consider. The following video is a Ted Talk about current trends in parenting from a sociological perspective and from the point of view of children. This may help you make a decision on which style is best for you.
The Best Child Rearing Practices
Now that you know the different types of parenting styles, which one will you settle for? Well, that is a decision you know best. We cannot help you with that decision, but one thing we can- providing you with some of the best child-rearing techniques to follow.
Child-rearing practices contribute greatly to the overall development of your child subsequently. The practices are an assurance of the future success of your little angel. Here are some of the practices to follow.
Get involved in your child’s life
One of the most effective and efficient tips of child-rearing is to get involved in your kid’s life. It is the secret and foundation to successful child-rearing, nothing else. One thing to know, however, is that it isn’t easy, and will require lots of dedication and hard work.
Getting involved in your child’s life means putting the kids’ priorities in front at all times. It means having to sacrifice a lot for your child. You will, on most occasions, be forced to change your schedule just to accommodate them. You will have to be there for your kid, both physically and emotionally.
Don’t get us wrong- we don’t mean that you correct or do the child’s homework. It is a big No-No, as this is the teachers’ duty. Instead, it is a daily requirement that you provide for the kids’ needs and see how they are performing in school.
Don’t be too loving
It is okay to spoil your kids once in a while, but be careful not to overdo it. We understand that you might have one kid, and want to show them how much you love them. Well, this is normal, and there’s nothing wrong about it- Only that you should know when to set boundaries.
We have to give the African parent all the accolades when it comes to this; they know when to love their kids, and when to correct or discipline them, a subtle art that not many parents have mastered.
Refraining from excessively loving your kids goes a long way in lowering their expectations. Also, it will teach them the reality of life in an efficient and effective manner.
All your actions matter
All your actions as a parent matter- don’t forget this. With this, you should know that every of your action has an impact on your child. Your child is constantly looking up to you and emulating your actions. The things you do have a huge impact and difference in their lives.
You should check on what you intend to accomplish from every one of your actions. Afterward, assess whether your actions will have the intended results. If it does, proceed on, but if it doesn’t, then it is only prudent to search for an alternative.
Explain rules and decisions to your child
Many will disagree, but this is one area that many parents go wrong in child-rearing. Parents have expectations from their children, which is okay. However, some parents under-explain this to their kids, which is totally wrong.
You should sit down with your child and have a precise conversation and understanding of your rules and decisions. Explaining this to your kid goes a long way in making them understand the importance of such decisions and the consequences that await them if they go astray.
Avoid harsh discipline
Hitting a child in Ireland is illegal, and you can be punished by the law for doing so. We believe this is one of the best practices you can adopt. Regardless of the nature of the wrong that your child has committed, hitting them isn’t the best way to go. Before you oppose this act, read on.
Research shows that kids who are slapped, spanked, or hit are more vulnerable to fight with other kids. Also, they are highly likely to develop as bullies in the future. They develop and aggressive behavior when interacting with other people. You don’t want your kid to end up like this, do you?
There is plenty of evidence to show that spanking causes aggression in the child. Kids who are spanked or hit grow up to have relationship issues with other people, as seen from the authoritarian type of parenting earlier.
There are other better approaches to correcting your kid. Sitting down, putting up rules, and their respective consequences, for example, is one way to go.
Have your meals together
A family that stays together eats together. The saying doesn’t normally go this way, but eating together is one sure way of bonding great with your kids. It might be difficult to have all the meals together, but you can choose one, preferably dinner.
Sit down with your kid and discuss the day’s activities with your child. Know what your child is up to. Doing so enables you to figure out some of the struggles and problems that your child is going through and finding possible solutions to them.
Children might find it difficult to grasp all the information that you tell them, especially if you don’t explain it in a clear and precise way. Take your time to explain things to your child. Help them understand the information you tell them.
If possible, break down everything easily, in the simplest manner possible. Failing to do this makes your child misunderstand a lot of things.
Patient is a virtue that not many people hold. Nevertheless, try as much as possible to be patient at all times and with your child also. You can easily lose your temper with your child, especially if you’re busy. This is because you might have little time to get things done, and if you fail to accomplish them, you might lose it all.
Being temperamental scares your child off, and it is less likely for them to come forward and explain their concerns to you. Keep it cool and in order. Also, don’t be impatient with your child if they don’t achieve what you expected them to, for example, in academics.
Instead, motivate them to work harder, and even go the extra mile of assisting them in their quest.
Respect your child
Lastly, have respect for your child. Doing so will reciprocate things, and they will also respect you- it is a two-way traffic. Don’t put unnecessary restrictions on your kid, and allow them proper freedom. Advise them on the right from the wrong.
There you have it- everything you need to know about child-rearing. We were sure to stay true to our course and provide you with all the relevant information in a clear and simple language. You have everything you need in this article.
Child-rearing isn’t easy, but neither is it difficult. Our child-rearing practices are the best to follow, and they will assure for a successful future for your kid. The secret lies in creating time for your kid and creating a warm and loving relationship between the two of you. Good luck!