Choosing the perfect name for your baby can be a very stressful time. Most parents want to ensure that while their child has a unique name that it is also not too unique that it falls into the weird or even worse the ridiculous box.
The goal is to find a name that your child will not be ridiculed or teased for and isn’t controversial. Most parents are really good at this but others get caught up in the fine detail and really botch the job!
Here are some of the worst examples of baby names that we have come across.
Take a look and see if there is anything that you may have considered and maybe take the time to reconsider your choices – remember your baby will be stuck with this name for their entire life!
Terrible Baby Names For Girls
Aberycusgentylis Balthropp – Yip believe it or not this was actually the name given to some poor child in 1648.
A. Blob – This is the reason that you need to be really careful with regard to your children’s initials and what they could potentially spell out.
Abcde – This alphabetical name is actually a real name and there are 328 people in the United States name Abcde.
Abstinence – This is not the best way to teach your child about irresponsible sexual relationships. This name would only make her a target for some cruel mockery.
Ahmiracle – Miracle is a somewhat popular name with almost 800 girls named this every year. Then we have Ahmiracle along with Lamiracles and Jamiracles. If you really like the name Miracle why not be a little more subtle and just choose a name that means miracle.
Alphabeta – Not the greatest choice of name and we are not really sure why you would smash the first two letters of the Greek alphabet together. But parents in 19th century England thought it was a great name choice.
Aliviyah – This is the creative spelling of Olivia. It seems a shame to ruin a classic name.
Anice Bottom – Anice Bottom graced the world with her presence in 1837 England. I wonder if her parents even realized the unfortunate name combination.
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Anna… – While Anna is a beautiful and graceful name, we are not really sure what the ellipsis is for? What have the parents omitted from her name?
Apple – Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their daughter Apple as it apparently made them think of something good and wholesome.
Augusta Wind – Parents in Chicago, nicknamed the windy city thought they would take their tribute to their city a little bit further.
Baby Girl – Well what happened here, were the parents just too lazy to think of a proper name for their little girl?
Balls – Born in the mid 19th century in England.
Banana – Born in 1919 in England, more of a monkey name than a human one.
Barbie Cue – In Scotland in 1819 parents decided on this unfortunate name for their little girl.
Beberly – We are hoping that this is a simple spelling mistake.
Britney Shakira Beyonce – Yip this name belongs to one person. It appears that their parents were fans of all three singers and couldn’t decide on one name, so they went with all three.
Burp – Good old Burp was born in 1771.
Caravan – Not the first name that comes to mind when you think about naming your child. But parents in Canada in 1857 decided it was the perfect name for their baby.
Custard – Born in 1876 to crazy parents from Virginia.
Derfla – These parents thought that they were expecting a baby boy and planned to name him after their Uncle Alfred. But they ended up having a little girl and had to come up with a name for her and so decided on Derfla which is actually Alfred backward.
Drug – Drug was born in 1847 in Alabama. According to birth records, this was an actual name and not a nickname or derived name.
Elle Vator – This was the time of the elevator and many industrialists were trying to beat one another to the next big invention.
Etta Lot – You really do need to consider the entire name from start to finish when naming a child. This name is a perfect example! Poor Etta Lot was born in 1877 in Mississippi.
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Facebook – Jamal Ibrahim names his baby girl Facebook to acknowledge the role that social media played in spurring the revolution in his country.
Fay King – Fay King was born in 1927 in England but is it a trustworthy source.
F. Ewe – Another unfortunate initial combination but it appears that this did not hold him back as he was married in London in 1899.
F. Ingood – Born in Bedford in 1777.
Garage – According to marriage records, a person named Garage was married in London in 1860. Hopefully, he had a really cool nickname.
Gassy – A baby born in South Carolina gave their baby the name Gassy.
Gladys Friday – TGIF! Gladys was born in England in 1900. Guess her parents were fans of the weekends!
Hairy – Born in 1878 in England. I bet there were some insults flying around here.
Harley Quinn – Harley is a super cute name but adding the Quinn to it just pushed it onto this list. After all the vast majority of people will guess that she is named after the antagonist in DC comics.
Heaven Lee – This name is going to ensure that this kid is laughed at a lot. Maybe the parents were not clear on the spelling or Lee maybe a family name.
Hellzel – A Reddit user states that the mother liked the name Hazel, but the father was a biker and loved the Hells Angels. So they mashed the names together
I’munique – Another strange and slightly narcissistic name for a little girl.
Jerica – We are not really sure of the origin of this name. But it does appear that it might be another combination name of Jessica and Erica.
Lasagna – Born in 1968 in North Carolina. Was this name choice a tribute to their favorite pasta dish?
Little Sweetmeat – You really need to think about this name and the many forms and reactions that your poor child will get.
Love-child Ermengarde – It appears that the parents wanted to honor the mother’s grandmother, which is lovely. But why Love-child?
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L’Oreal – This takes brand loyalty to an entirely new level. The parent named her other children DKNY and Joop.
Melanomia – How much do you dislike your baby to name them after skin cancer.
Merica – Not really sure what the parents were thinking here except that it was a tribute to a country they loved.
Moxie Crimefighter – Job descriptions are not cool for a proper name.
Nevaeh – This is the word HEAVEN backward and used as a name.
North West – This directional name would have been ok if not for the surname.
Olive Garden – The father liked the name Garden but the mother was set on Olive so they compromised and named her Olive Garden Smith.
One Too Many – This was the name recorded for a child in Essex in the 1870s. Not really sure what the name is trying to signify – maybe they were pushed to their limits.
Orgasm – This is not only an awful name but it is also shocking, offensive, embarrassing, and vulgar.
Panthy – Maybe the parents loved panthers?
Phelony – Yes that’s a felony but with a ‘Ph’.
Poof – Poof was born in Iowa in 1859 and ended up traveling for the Klondike Gold Rush.
Pube – Definitely a unique name for your child and there is no reason I can think of as to why Canadian parents named their child it in 1904.
Quiche – This name was used in 1900 in Ohio.
Reighleigh – The mother loved the letters ‘g’ and ‘h’ and decided to rework the name Riley to Reighleigh.
Salami – English parents in the 1840s thought this was a suitable name for their little boy.
Sucker – What were these parents even thinking? Sucker was born in 1896 in North Carolina.
Tu Morrow – We have no meaning for the name Tu and are hoping that her classmates are kind to her.
Vejonica – This is another combination name in honor of grandparents named John and Veronica.
Wanker – Born to cruel parents, Wanker was born in 1856 in New York.
Y. Nott – Born in 1930 Staffordshire.
Terrible Baby Names For Boys
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Adolf Hitler – This combination of names can be very unsettling for many people. The name choice came to the public attention when a grocery owner in New Jersey refused to put the words “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler” on a baby’s cake.
Audio Science – This is the name given by parents Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton to their baby. Granted this is both a rare and unique name but there is nothing else positive to say about it.
Billion – The good thing about this name is that it can easily be shortened to Bill or Billy. But I’m not sure that is a good enough reason to name your child Billion, yet five babies born in 2014 were called it.
Bogart Che Peyote – This is the name of reality star David Rainey’s son. Not only did he call his son a ridiculous name but it is also connected to revolutionaries and drugs.
Cameron – Bet you are thinking that’s not such a bad name and you would be right except when the name is Cameron Cameron!
C’KRET – After having their baby the couple asked the nurse what the craziest name she had heard was and she replied Secret. The parents thought that’s not so bad and went with it until the nurse wrote it down as C’KRET!
Clitis – A French couple named their son Clitis. Their reason was that they were huge fans of a US actor of this name. When they were asked which actor they replied Clitis Wood. They meant Clint Eastwood.
Colon – This name is not an awesome choice at all. Can you imagine as your child introduces themselves!
Danger – The inspiration behind this name could be Lost in Space, Danger Will Robinson. Danger!
D’Artagnan – I guess the parents must have been fans of the Three Musketeers!
Dracul – Firstly it is way too close to Dracula. To add to that the name actually means ‘devil’ or ‘dragon’.
Gotham – There are many movies and tv series that have inspired baby names such as Game Of Thrones. Gotham is another example of a movie/tv series inspired name.
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Hashtag – Another name that shows the effect that social media has on our lives and that of our children. The parents wanted a unique and modern name for their child, this is when they came up with Hashtag. They said it was to capture the admiration and attention for being both creative and unique.
Jammy – This is a terrible case of misspelling. The parents thought they were naming their son Jamie!
Jermajesty – Jermaine Jackson named his son Jermajesty. We are not entirely sure what he was thinking when he did but it is quite clear that his son now has a clunky and awkward name as well as a ridiculous one.
Jihad – Elfi Yaghi named her 14th child Jihad which most definitely raised a few eyebrows. Most people know that Jihad is an Islamic term for a war waged as a religious duty.
Jolon – This Native American name means ‘valley of the dead oaks’. Doesn’t exactly paint the prettiest picture does it?
Like – This name choice shows the effect that social media has on our lives. A young couple that was obsessed with Facebook decided to name their son Like, after the feature on Facebook.
Lucifer – Natalya Menshikova named her son Lucifer. Even though Russian authorities tried to dissuade her. When Natalya was asked about naming her son Lucifer, she said it was not an evil name and means ‘light bringing’.
Mazen – A mother named her son after how she felt when he was born, as in she felt ‘mazen’.Yes, she does mean ‘amazing’, I suppose you could shorten it to Maze as a nickname.
Meldor – This name does sound like it was inspired by Lord of the Rings but it wasn’t invented by J.R.R. Tolkien.
Mercury Constellation Starcruiser – Another Reddit user came across a general with the last name star cruiser. When he looked up his full name he found it to be Mercury Constellation Starcruiser.
Mhavrych – A version of the name Maverick. This is a strange spelling twist on the original name that just doesn’t feel right.
Mort – This could be a great short-form of Mortimer, but in Old French, it means ‘dead’.
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Obamanique – There are actually several babies named Obamanique, inspired by Barack Obama, the 44th US President.
Pilot Inspektor – This attempt at an occupational name is not even a real job and it is unclear as to why Jason Lee opted for this name for his little boy.
Princecharles – Naming your son Prince Charles is one thing but calling him Princecharles is just a whole other kind of madness. Apparently, the parents were inspired by Prince Charles of the British Royal family.
Prince Michael II/Blanket – Michael Jackson originally choose the name Prince Michael II for his son but later nicknamed his child Blanket. He thought that no one could possibly be offended by this name.
Rage – This is just setting your little one up for a tough old life.
Sadman – The parents wanted to go with emotion while naming their child, but why did they not choose a more positive emotion. This name appeared on the baby name list in the year 2014.
Seven – Musician Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 named their son Seven. They choose this name because the number seven is a powerful number and can not be divided.
Sssst – There is just nothing that can be said about this name, except how do you pronounce it? The name made it to Reddit after the husband of a high-risk pregnancy nurse posted it. His wife had heard the name in the hospital – I wish they had posted how to pronounce it.
Teival – This is the Yiddish word for ‘devil’.
Than – Besides this is a conjunction or preposition, the name also means ‘death’ in Greek.
Thermopylae – This turns out to be the name of a town in Green. But it turns out that the mother was inspired by the name of a teller at her bank.
Ubel – With this name, you do run the risk of your little boy being nicknamed Uber and the name actually means ‘evil’.
Valdis – This name means ‘the dead’.
Yunique – This one is as narcissistic as I’munique.
Zuma – Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale named their child Zuma after a beach in Malibu. But Zuma is also the diminutive of a gastrointestinal condition and is also associated with a mocked beverage.
The Final Thought
That is the end of our list and hope you have not found any inspiration on there for your own little bundle’s name.
But if you have you should really be considering the fact that you are setting your beautiful baby up for a life of ridicule and torment – remember kids are cruel!